


Original Lifeline

by thanksimicrowave



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, M/M, Smut, asmo's trying to have a good time, kiss kiss fall in gay, lucifer is repressed, mammon is stupid
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-17
Updated: 2020-04-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:20:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 14,247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23682271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thanksimicrowave/pseuds/thanksimicrowave
Summary: Oh, to be Asmodeus, living freely in the human realm away from the other demons inconveniencing all of his plans to seduce and date Lucifer. Until Lucifer turns up at his Starbucks one day. Then maybe...unless...?
Relationships: Asmodeus/Lucifer (Shall We Date?: Obey Me!)
Comments: 11
Kudos: 40





	1. look up, look up

**Author's Note:**

  * For [toujihisami](https://archiveofourown.org/users/toujihisami/gifts).



In the human world, the sun was shining brightly in the sky overhead. It was the 354th day of Asmodeus' freedom from the Devildom - free from Belphie's manipulation, free from Beels eating all of his food, free from Levi's sulking and ranting, free from everything about Mammon, and free from how _uptight_ Lucifer was at all times. It was a shame about leaving Lucifer behind though… 

Too bad! 

Asmo sighed happily to himself as he stepped out of his apartment. The other demons always made fun of the human world, but Asmo had always been enchanted by it; it seemed so quaint, like a little fairytale world. It didn't seem real to him still, even though he'd been here for almost a whole year now. Humans were so cute and charming! And he only wanted to eat them _some_ of the time…mostly he found out that they were a bit interested in his other qualities. His life had really changed when he discovered the Tinder. 

Today he had other things to do though, at least this morning. It was a Thursday (the best day of the week, in his opinion) and it was his designated day to do his homework in the campus Starbucks and flirt with the cute barista that worked there on Thursdays. He’d already made sure to put on his cutest outfit so that there was absolutely no way she could possibly say no to him when he asked her out on a date today. Not that she could say no to him of course - he _was_ the Avatar of Lust, even if he didn’t live in the Devildom anymore. 

He adjusted his shirt collar, put up his parasol, and closed the door behind him. His satchel hung from his shoulder, perfectly lined up with the seam of his shirt, and his sleeves were neatly rolled up almost to his elbows. Asmo was so glad that he didn’t have to look at the disgusting way Mammon dressed anymore. He didn’t know how Mammon ever got anyone to agree to go on a date with him when he looked like that. And Beels - didn’t he know how unattractive it was to only talk about food? Levi was a lost cause too, since all he wanted was a goldfish and an anime girl to be his wife. And the things he could say about Lucifer and his inability to even smile at someone he was interested in. Honestly. Asmo had never met anyone more repressed than Lucifer. 

Sometimes Asmo thought a lot about Lucifer, as if he regretted leaving Lucifer behind...he supposed that he did, but he could do better than Lucifer. Actually, he _did_ do better than Lucifer. There were people hotter than Lucifer on the Tinder, and people who knew just how to touch Asmo in all of his sweet spots. Lucifer could never. Lucifer had rejected all of his attempts and advances over the years, and it almost made Asmo want to sulk like Levi. His only solace was that Lucifer definitely wasn’t seeing anyone else. Nobody else would date someone that repressed. Nobody except the Avatar of Lust would want someone _that_ unattainable. 

Asmo turned his face up towards the sun. It was a nice late spring day, midmorning caught in the fist of burgeoning high humidity and the threat of the onslaught of summer, the kind of day that needed a table next to a window and an iced drink to pool condensation on the surface of the table. Asmo had already planned all of this out, for weeks now. He was glad that today was his day - the sun was on his side, and that was all he needed. 

Inside Starbucks, the air was crisp and cool, and he tucked his parasol under his arm as he approached the counter. The purple haired girl was there (of course) and he paused just next to the doorway for a second to brush his hair back into place, falling into his eyes just so. He set his smile across his face in the same way, and approached the counter. 

Something caught his eye first. 

Something dressed in all black, awkwardly lurking at the end of the counter looking at though he’d never seen anything like it before. Asmo would recognise that figure anyway, as if he hadn’t spent years and years and years getting worked up about…about _Lucifer._

_What was Lucifer doing here in his human world Starbucks? What! Was! He! Doing! Here!_

The barista caught him off-guard. 

“Hey Asmo! Do you want your usual?” she asked, leaning over the counter towards him with a sunshine bright smile. Her lipstick matched her hair today. 

Asmo didn’t know how to unstick himself, at first. He was stuck looking at Lucifer here, in the _human world,_ standing in a Starbucks. Did he get lost on his way to Lord Diavolo’s office? Asmo frowned, teeny tiny lines creasing his perfect skin until he remembered what he came here for in the first place. 

“Of course,” he said to the barista, less smoothly than intended. Lucifer could wait. Asmo turned his back to Lucifer, so that Lucifer would know Asmo was ignoring him. 

“So do you like, know that guy?” the barista asked him. 

“W….what guy?” Asmo asked, hoping that she wasn’t talking about Lucifer. Please not Lucifer. 

“That guy, the one in all black.” She pointed down the counter to Lucifer. 

Asmo weighed his options faster than he’d ever weighed them before in his life. On one hand, he didn’t know what had happened before he got here. He could deny knowing Lucifer at all. It wouldn’t be too hard, as Lucifer had the interpersonal skills of an overgrown carrot. On the other hand...Lucifer might step in at any moment. Lucifer was like that. 

The silence passed even slower. 

“Y...es…” Asmo admitted, “we used to know each other.” 

“Okay cool...just wanted to check he’s not some creep, you know? It would suck if my favourite regular got kidnapped by some guy because of me.” She laughed. 

Asmo laughed along. 

“Oh, here he comes...here’s your drink!” 

Asmo took the drink from her in exchange for the exact amount his drink cost. He could already feel Lucifer standing behind him, ruining all his plans just by existing. Asmo went to take a step away from Lucifer, but of course, Lucifer grabbed his arm before he could put any distance between the two of them. 

“Asmodeus,” Lucifer said. 

Asmo plastered his most charming smile across his face before he turned around to face Lucifer. “Hello Lucifer!” he said, as if this wasn’t inconveniencing all of his plans. 

“We need to talk,” Lucifer said. He looked serious, but that was just how his face always looked as far as Asmo knew. 

Asmo’s smile only faltered a little bit. “Okay,” he agreed, figuring that agreeing to Lucifer would get rid of him quicker. “Let’s sit over there by the window. By the way, don’t you want anything to drink?”

“No,” Lucifer said, not taking his hand off Asmo’s arm, as if he didn’t trust Asmo to not run away again, “I don’t know how you can drink that human stuff.” 

Asmo smiled nicely at Lucifer again. His head felt like it was going to explode. “It’s an acquired taste. And there’s a lot of different flavours, you know. The demon world isn’t very forthcoming about all these things humans have come up with.” 

“Is that why you ran away?” Lucifer asked, pushing Asmo towards a chair. 

Asmo took his time setting his parasol and satchel down, his drink on the table, and then sitting himself down. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“Don’t act stupid, Asmodeus, you’re not Mammon.” 

Asmo huffed. “You’re right, I’m not.” He took a sip of his drink, hoping that the coolness of it would soothe him somewhat. It did, a little, but not a lot of things could ease how it felt to be sitting across from Lucifer. “So what are you doing here?” Asmo asked before Lucifer could say his next accusing statement. 

Lucifer looked as though that had caught him off-guard. That made Asmo feel better. 

“Well…” Lucifer started. 

Asmo waited. This wasn’t going to be good. But it was going to be juicy, and since Asmo wasn’t involved in the Devildom anymore, he didn’t care about what had gone wrong since he left. Mammon could’ve blown the place up and Asmo wouldn’t care. Maybe that’s what had happened…

“I...I think I’m in trouble?” Lucifer said softly, dogearing his words with an out of place question. 

Asmo could only raise his eyebrows in surprise. Lucifer? _The_ Lucifer, in trouble? Was that even possible, since he was Lord Diavolo’s personal favourite and possibly the most powerful out of all the avatars? He leaned forwards, surveyed the way Lucifer slumped over instead of sitting ramrod straight, eyeing the surface of the table instead of making an unnerving amount of eye contact with Asmo. 

Lucifer looked _defeated._

“Oh, so you need my help, of course?” Asmo trilled, pleased that Lucifer had come to him once instead of one of the idiots he used to associate with. As strange as this was, it certainly was a situation he could milk for all it was worth. 

“No!” Lucifer said, and then closed his mouth. “Well...I need to stay out of Devildom until all this blows over...so I...thought...maybe...I could find you…” 

Asmo leaned back, crossing his arms. “Poor Lucifer,” he mused out loud, “forced into the human world to beg for help from Asmodeus. What a terrible situation you’ve found yourself in!” He clasped his hands together. “Of course I’ll help you! In return for something, of course.” 

“What is it you want?” 

“Oh, I haven’t decided yet.” Asmo waved his hand dismissively and changed the subject before Lucifer realised that Asmo already knew what he wanted from Lucifer. “Well, you can stay with me at my apartment because I live alone...we’ll have to introduce you to human food of course, but don’t worry, it doesn’t taste like dirt even though Beels likes it so much. Don’t worry at all! It’s pretty nice living here.” 

A small and uncharacteristic look of despair crossed Lucifer’s face. “I see,” he said, stiffly. 

“It’ll be just like the House of Lamentation,” Asmo said, wrapping his fingers around his cold drink. “But without everyone else. Won’t that be nice, Lucifer? No Beels in the fridge, no Mammon being Mammon, no Levi screaming? It’ll be nice and quiet, hmm?” 

“I suppose you’re right.” Lucifer inched himself more upright. “It’ll be a nice opportunity to reconnect with you.”

“Yes,” Asmo said agreeably, swiping condensation off his cup, “of course.” 

Oh, Lucifer. 

★★★

As much as Asmo hated to admit it, the idea of having Lucifer stay with him for weeks, maybe even _months_ was a bit thrilling to him. It’d been so long since he’d last seen Lucifer (354 days was an awfully long time to go without seeing someone he’d lived with for an eternity) and even though they wouldn't have much to catch up on, it would give his days an interesting flavour, to say the least. Familiarity was...nice. He would be the first to admit that. Asmo dropped his keys into the little silver bowl that sat nearby his front door, and turned around to look at Lucifer. It was...surreal...to have Lucifer in his apartment in the human world. It felt a bit out of place, like seeing Mammon trying to clean his room. 

“I’ll give you a tour,” Asmo said. He was still feeling nice even though he hadn’t been able to ask the cute barista out on a date today. Maybe he could con Lucifer into going on a date with him instead. “Don’t worry, everything’s clean here.” 

Asmo’s apartment was a fourth floor apartment with two rooms, a bathroom, and enough space for him to occasionally host people when he felt like it. The hallway was narrow and dark, but the rest of the apartment had more than enough light, so he supposed he couldn’t complain very much about that. From now on he’d have to be extra careful, since Lucifer tended to blend into dark shadowy places with little effort. Through the end of the hallway (past the all important doors to the bathroom and a closet) took them to the living room and kitchen area. Asmo had decorated the living room with fairy lights and cute charms. The sofa had an assortment of throw pillows and a soft rug in front of it. Asmo was very fond of how he’d decorated the living room, and his bedroom was even nicer. Unfortunately, Lucifer probably couldn’t appreciate the finer points of cosy home decor. 

“I have extra pillows and blankets you can borrow if you want, but this will be your room for the foreseeable future. I’m just over here-” Asmo pointed to the door just next to the living room door in the hallway. “-if you get lonely though.”

“Rest assured, I will stay in this room,” Lucifer said, stiff as a board. Nothing had really changed with him. He stood there awkwardly next to the sofa, as if he’d never met a comfortable living room before in his life. 

“Suit yourself,” Asmo muttered. “Well, make yourself at home…do you want any food? Drink?”

“No thank you.” 

Asmo headed towards the kitchen area anyway, looking for something light to have for lunch. “If you get hungry, please eat. You’ll know what you shouldn’t eat in here.” They’d lived together before, so hopefully Lucifer knew by now what he could and couldn’t eat of Asmo’s. At least, unlike Beels, Lucifer could respect rules like that. 

“Yes. Of course.” 

Asmo rolled his eyes while his back was turned to Lucifer. He really hadn’t changed at all. He was beginning to make Asmo remember why he left the Devildom in the first place, and he’d only been here for two minutes. He piled fruit onto a plate, only pausing to check over his shoulder when he heard the gentle _swish_ of Lucifer’s clothes. 

Lucifer was standing by the kitchen counter, looking around at the cupboards and little ornamental trinkets that Asmo had scattered around. “Asmodeus…” Lucifer said quietly. His eyes flickered more, between trinkets and Asmo, and Asmo wondered where this segment of the conversation was going. 

“Hm?” 

“Thank you for letting me stay here...not turning me away, I mean...it’s difficult not being in the Devildom right now.” 

Asmo turned to face Lucifer, leaning his slender body against the opposite counter. Sometimes Asmo didn’t know what to make of Lucifer. More often than not, Lucifer was consistently uptight, in the same way Beels was consistently hungry, or Mammon was consistently scummy. It was a constant, an unyielding, unwavering constant, the kind that all demons had their own of. It was the kind of constant that Asmo could build his life around until he got tired of it all. “You don’t take no for an answer,” he pointed out, studying Lucifer. He tilted his head at a not-seductive-yet angle, twisting his hair around in his fingers. 

“I know,” Lucifer said, avoiding looking directly at him, “but you didn’t even complain.”

“One day you’ll let me fix everything for you,” Asmo said, “and then you’ll have no more problems.” Before Lucifer could respond, he picked up his plate of fruit and drifted out of the room, leaving just a string of unapologetic words behind him. “I have more work to do, so I’ll be in my room. Bye bye~”

The door slammed shut behind Asmodeus and Lucifer let out a breath. And then another one. And then another one. Almost like hyperventilating, but he wasn’t melodramatic enough for that. And then he walked over to the sofa and faceplanted onto it. It smelt like Asmodeus. Of course it did. The whole apartment smelt like Asmodeus. Lucifer didn’t realise just how long it’d been since he was last in Asmodeus’ presence. Had it been a year? The year had gone very quickly, but that was to be expected. Lucifer was very busy all of the time…

...except now...when he had nothing to do except wedge his body against the soft edges of the sofa, gathering one of Asmodeus’ obscenely soft and fluffy baby blue cushions to stuff under his head. He closed his eyes. It was a miracle he’d found Asmodeus at all. Lucifer wasn’t like the other demons, in that respect. He didn’t have friends here that he could - or would - turn to in his times of need. Not like Mammon or Satan who regularly disappeared into the human world. Not like Asmodeus who lived here now. Lucifer’s closest friend was Lord Diavolo, and Lord Diavolo was definitely not a human. 

How would he live here for even one day? Let alone the weeks or even _months_ that it might take for Lord Diavolo to clear his name and allow him back into the Devildom. Months of watching Asmodeus live a human life...none of his usual responsibilities...human food...humans…

Oh this was going to be a long few weeks. Possibly the longest weeks since he’d been dismissed from the Celestial Realm. That couldn’t happen again - he couldn’t get permanently dismissed from the Devildom too. If Lucifer was dismissed from _two_ realms and sentenced to stay in the human realm forever, then he’d just have to...have to…

No, no, no. Of course that wouldn’t happen. Everything was going to turn out fine. He’d be back in Devildom before he knew it, and this would just be some middling length vacation with Asmodeus who he clearly needed to spend some time with to get away from the demands of the Devildom for a little while. That was all. 

Yes. A nice relaxing vacation with Asmodeus. 

Time to relax. 

★★★

By the time Asmo emerged from his room again, spinning his empty plate on his finger (a trick he’d learnt from Beels) he was feeling much better about Lucifer staying in his apartment for the foreseeable future. It wasn’t ideal (the way things were meant to play out was they would go on several dates, Lucifer would confess his love for Asmo, and then they would move in together and live happily ever after) but sometimes Asmo had to work with whatever was thrown at him, as was the way with demons. They complained about humans being uncivilised, but really. So now he had no homework left to do and a plan to seduce Lucifer. He could finally take a more direct approach, since Lucifer would be forced to pay attention to him here in the human world, and Asmo would find out exactly how much it would take to make the Avatar of Uptight to crack once and for all. It was perfect. He had everything he needed already. And then before long, Lucifer would surely fall in love with him (who wouldn’t?) and then he could stay here forever and they could live happily ever after. 

Asmo stopped halfway to the kitchen, noticing the sofa all of a sudden. Lucifer had curled up on the sofa like an oversized black cat, clutching a fluffy blue pillow with all his might, and fallen asleep. He looked so peaceful there. “How cute…” he whispered to himself. But he had to take a photo. He _needed_ to commemorate this. For posterity. It was absolutely necessary. Asmo crept closer, fishing his phone out of his hoodie. He crouched down on the floor just a few steps away from the sofa and snapped a few pictures of sleeping Lucifer, from as many angles as he could manage without accidentally dropping his phone and waking Lucifer up. It was rare to see him sleeping like this. And now he had a new picture for his phone wallpaper! All according to plan.

He scuttled away from Lucifer, back to his kitchen, just in case Lucifer woke up while he was still crouched there. Perhaps he would let Lucifer sleep for a little while longer - Asmo could use something cute to look at while he was cooking. He just had to be careful not to wake Lucifer up while he was at it. 

Lucifer didn’t stir until Asmo was almost done with the cooking. It was just as he was about to start plating that Lucifer opened his eyes, blinking sleepily. It took all of Asmo's considerable self control to not squee about how cute Lucifer was when he wasn't acting like his normal self. 

“Don’t worry, I made something you’ll like," Asmo said, instead of what he was thinking. 

“Hm?" Lucifer rubbed his eyes and sat up. His dark hair stuck up a little at the sides, where it'd been pressed against the cushion. Asmo wanted to pet it. Not yet… 

"Meat!" It was a simple meal, just steak and potatoes and Asmo's favourite secret sauce. Very simple and easy to make, but surely enough to charm Lucifer into thinking that human food could be as good as food from the Devildom.

He reached for a bottle of red wine. "Wine?" Asmo asked. 

Lucifer hesitated. "I'll pass this time." 

"Okay," Asmo said, "suit yourself." He poured himself a glass of wine and carried everything over where Lucifer was sat, setting it all down on the nearby coffee table. Lucifer at least looked interested in the food. This could only be a good sign. So Asmo settled in next to Lucifer, maintaining enough distance for Lucifer to continue being repressed in peace while they ate. It was nice, actually…maybe they could do this every night… 

"How's… Lord Diavolo?" Asmo asked, once the peaceful silence had become boring. He set his plate on the coffee table next to him and settled back against the sofa’s cushions with his wine glass in hand. "Is he still ordering you around?" 

Lucifer shot him a look. Asmo smiled sweetly. He knew that Lucifer enjoyed being ordered around by Lord Diavolo. And naturally, as the Avatar of Lust, he knew a lot of other things about how Lucifer and Lord Diavolo worked together. He didn't think anyone else knew though - they could speculate, but they didn't have the ability to confirm these kinds of things like he did. 

"I suppose we were still working together quite closely, until as of late," Lucifer said stiffly, turning his attention back to his plate.

Asmo caught the way Lucifer dragged his fork around his plate, spreading streaks of sauce in patterns around the sauce. He knew Lucifer wasn't going to tell him what had happened. Obviously Lucifer was still experiencing some emotions about the whole thing, and didn’t know how to cope with that. He chewed on his food and thought about what it must be like to see Lucifer experience real emotions. But there was no use in trying to dig right now. Lucifer was like an impenetrable fortress sometimes. Something about being the oldest and the Avatar of Pride. Even Levi was more forthcoming with his feelings, and Levi thought they were all beneath him. Whatever - Lucifer couldn’t keep it from him forever now that they were in such close quarters _and_ in this situation, with no Lord Diavolo around to distract Lucifer from Asmo. 

For the time being, Asmo steered the conversation to a simpler topic: himself. "Would you like to know what I'm doing these days?" he asked, swirling red wine around in his glass. 

"I suppose I ought to know." 

"Well," Asmo started, "I enrolled at university here, and I major in International Relations with a minor in French.” 

Lucifer paused. “International Relations?” 

Asmo smirked, just a little bit. “I bet you weren’t expecting that.” He downed the rest of his glass and immediately filled it back up. Anything to make talking to Lucifer more painless. 

“You never seemed like the diplomatic type.” 

“That was your job.” Oops. Maybe he shouldn’t have let his voice drop seductively like that. Sometimes he couldn’t help himself; it was natural to let his voice drop, look at people through lidded eyes, to touch their arms and tell them how funny they were (which absolutely didn’t work on Lucifer, who had no sense of humour) and get what he wanted from them. So of course he wasn’t surprised when Lucifer didn’t answer that, and instead side eyed him in the typical Lucifer way when he was working himself up to a three hour lecture about what others should and shouldn’t do. 

He sidled a little bit closer distractingly. “You know, I was about to ask that girl that works in Starbucks out on a date when you turned up.” He smiled at Lucifer innocently. 

“Really.” It wasn’t a question. Lucifer didn’t care and Asmo could hear it. 

“Well, I have to make friends, don’t I?” He stretched one bare leg out daringly, trying to see if Lucifer would look or if he would continue looking anywhere but at Asmo.

Lucifer glanced at his leg. Asmo took that as an invitation to sidle closer, leaning against Lucifer’s side like he’d been thinking about the whole evening so far. Lucifer nudged him off. Asmo reapplied himself, only to get pushed away again. 

"Don't try anything," Lucifer said softly, "I know what you're like, Asmodeus."

Asmo slunk into the corner of the sofa, crossing his arms. "Not all of us are allergic to affection like you," he said tersely. Did Lucifer realise things like that? Did he think about anyone else except himself? Besides Lord Diavolo? 

Lucifer said nothing, so apparently not. Asmo watched him from the corner of the sofa. 

Nothing. Lucifer didn’t even look at him. 

The clock in the corner ticked through the silence. The evening had settled in outside of the apartment and the room was getting dark around them, pulling Lucifer back into the shadows he always blended in so well with. So nothing had changed, human world or not. And maybe Asmo shouldn’t have drunk so much wine, but it wouldn’t have made a difference to Lucifer either way. 

"I'll be in bed.” Asmo peeled himself out of the corner, and stalked out of the room, slamming his bedroom door shut behind him. 

Alone in the living room Lucifer sighed quietly to himself and set about cleaning up everything. It was the least he could do, even if he was deliberating ignoring the interest Asmodeus had in him. Lucifer had never known why Asmodeus was so interested in him - he’d been like this for a very long time, and he’d claimed so frequently that he _just couldn’t control it!_ but Lucifer wasn’t stupid. Asmodeus didn’t act this way around Mammon (though no one would want to) or Levi (occupied with his anime wives) or Beels (busy with food) or Belphie (busy clinging to Beels) or...Satan? Lucifer wasn’t sure if he’d ever seen Asmodeus and Satan together, generally. Satan was one of the quietest, and Lucifer never noticed Satan much when Mammon, Levi, and Beels were always causing trouble.

He wondered what trouble they were causing now. Something was bound to be wrong in the House of Lamentation right now, and Lucifer wasn’t there to stop them from the inevitable mayhem they were causing Lucifer wished he had his D.D.D. so that he could at least check up on them, but he wasn’t allowed to contact anyone in the Devildom until Lord Diavolo could clear his name and let him back in. He closed his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose, and wondered how his life had come to this. 

Lucifer left everything to soak in the sink and sank back into the sofa. He didn’t like the look of the dish soap that Asmodeus had (grapefruit and pomegranate was _not_ a soap flavour) and he was starting to think more about what Asmodeus had said to him today. The first time they’d seen each other in a while and Asmodeus was still complaining about him. Was he really that bad? Did it really matter what Asmodeus thought of him? But the other demons all seemed to be in agreement with him, and he was barred from the Devildom for the time being. He hated to admit it, but everything seemed to be pointing in the same direction, directly to him and the things that he thought were right. 

Did he need to change? 


	2. (i'm trying to change)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: mentions of [sexual] abuse esp if you can read between the lines better than lucifer can

Asmo woke up the next day wondering why he had agreed to let Lucifer stay with him...because now, he had to deal with Lucifer every day for the foreseeable future, and yes, he had agreed to that yesterday and decided it wouldn’t be so bad, but now he was looking at it in the morning light and that was a bit different to yesterday. Yesterday he hadn’t had to wake up and consider that the ramification of letting Lucifer stay in his living room was that he would have to _wear_ clothes all the time, otherwise Lucifer would lecture him about how that was an inappropriate way to behave around houseguests. That was just one thing. It’d been a whole year since he’d last had to endure one of Lucifer’s three hour lectures, and he’d like to keep it that way. 

Asmo lied in his bed for a few more minutes, staring at the canopy of his bed and contemplating his choices. There was no escaping it, he decided. Even after what had happened last night. So he reluctantly rolled out of bed in search of clothes, and settled on something that might seduce Lucifer if he’d somehow become way, _way_ less repressed overnight (or maybe completely lost his mind), but otherwise wouldn’t make Lucifer lecture him about the appropriateness of clothing. Plain black shorts that he may have stolen from Satan an age ago and a soft loose white t-shirt, because simple plain colours were the best thing to accentuate his natural beauty and figure. Harmless. 

Inevitably, Lucifer was already up by the time Asmo had brushed his hair and padded out into the living room. The curtains were already open and the morning light settled over his furniture in golden streams, and...the smell of pancakes drifted towards him? Asmo looked towards the kitchen, but found Lucifer on the other side of the coffee table, holding two plates already. Lucifer had changed too, which was disturbing. Obviously Asmo had seen Lucifer wearing pyjamas before, but the effect was always like seeing a dog walking on its hind legs (not Luke) and made him double take. The RAD sweatpants and the black hoodie really sold Lucifer’s dedication to looking incredibly boring at all times. 

“Good morning, Asmodeus,” Lucifer said, setting down two the plates on the coffee table. "I made breakfast."

Asmo paused, taken aback. He looked at the pancakes. He looked at Lucifer. “Really?” It shouldn't have been hard to believe. It was the kind of thing Lucifer would do after, especially when he felt guilty about something. But there was something about trying to parse the whole concept of Lucifer feeling guilty for rejecting Asmo last night that just seemed impossible. 

“Yes, of course.” Lucifer busied himself around the kitchen, avoiding looking at Asmo. “Why are you so surprised?” 

Asmo looked at the table again. There were pancakes. And fruit. _And_ syrup. Clearly Lucifer at least remembered what Asmo liked. And Asmo was never really one to hold a grudge, was he? He settled onto the sofa and reached for the plate with all the blueberries on them, almost letting them escape when he tilted the plate too far in his lap. Maybe he could get used to _this._

“Did you sleep well?” Lucifer asked, sitting down beside him with the other plate. Lucifer’s food options were vastly more plain than Asmo’s, of course. Lucifer liked plain pancakes and other equally boring things. Asmo had almost forgotten about the boring things that Lucifer liked to eat. Maybe he could fix that...

“Of course,” Asmo said, munching on blueberries. The berries burst tart flavour across his mouth and he sighed pleasedly. "I didn't think you would remember what I like."

"Really?" Lucifer sounded surprised. So surprised, in fact, that Asmo stopped his munching to look at him. 

“Well Lucifer...you weren’t really one for associating too much with the rest of us…” It seemed like a nicer way to say _yeah Lucifer, you always thought you were above the rest of us and no, I’m not bitter about it but I’m definitely going to use it against you when you act like it’s not surprising that you know anything about us at all that wasn’t spoonfed to you by Diavolo’s asshole._

“Yes, well...things are different now,” Lucifer said stiffly. 

Typical Lucifer. 

Asmo focused on his pancakes (Lucifer was at least good at cooking breakfast foods), pulling them apart into little pieces to eat with his fingers, dipped in syrup until his fingertips were sticky. It was the best way to eat pancakes, even if he’d have to wash his hands a few times afterwards, just to get all the syrup stickiness off his skin. 

"What are your plans for today?” Lucifer asked pleasantly. 

“I have to go to class,” Asmo said, licking syrup from his fingers. “I’ll be gone from around nine until half three.” 

His eyes caught Lucifer’s, then, and he ducked his chin unconsciously, looking at Lucifer through his (exceptional) lashes as he sucked the syrup from the tips of his fingers. And if he wasn’t mistaken...Lucifer swallowed his piece of pancake too quickly, and the way his face pinkened was definitely _not_ from that. It was a little bit cute...Lucifer’s extremely rare blushing complemented his carmine coloured eyes wonderfully. Asmo wondered what else he would have to do to get that reaction from Lucifer. 

Was 8am too early to try and seduce Lucifer? 

He settled further back into the sofa cushions, chewing on another piece of pancake and looking at the stern lines of Lucifer’s face. That was the closest he’d ever gotten to seducing Lucifer...but maybe he wouldn’t have time to do that before class. He still needed to get dressed first, and that would take long enough. Of course, he could just go out like this (in his nothing special clothes) but then nobody would look at him? Fine, seducing Lucifer was a plan for his new afterschool club, now that he knew one thing to do to get a reaction out of him at least. 

Oh, but this was going to distract him all the way through class. For a second, he considered skipping class just to see if Lucifer would _let him_ do anything. No, of course Lucifer wouldn’t. But it would be nice if Lucifer would. And besides, he didn’t want to ruin his perfect attendance, one of many perfect things about him. _Sigh._ To class it was. Distractions included. 

“I’ll leave my keys here in case you want to go out,” Asmo said, interrupting the (thinking about seducing Lucifer) silence that had settled over their breakfast. “But if you lock me out, I’ll be mad.” 

“Okay,” Lucifer said. He didn’t seem as...present? as he usually was. But Asmo couldn’t do anything about that. And anyway, he had places to be, so that was a problem for _later on_ and not _right now_. 

Instead, he set his plate back on the table, and left to get changed in his room, where he thought about Lucifer the whole time. And then he brushed his teeth, where he thought about Lucifer some more. And then he gathered up all of his belongings to put into his satchel (still thinking about Lucifer) and shouldered the bag, still thinking about Lucifer. Calculating. Or at least, that’s what he was trying to do when all he wanted to do right now was ride him on the sofa and be late to class. Though if he went down that route, Asmo _knew_ he would either get rejected or he would never make it to class. Problems, problems, problems. Problems everywhere. Lucifer just couldn’t come to the human world unrepressed, could he? 

When he came out of his room again, Lucifer was drifting around the kitchen, gathering up everything he’d used that morning and looking through the cupboards, presumably trying to figure out what to eat for lunch. At least Lucifer was still the same in that aspect. 

“I’m going now,” Asmo announced, feeling out of place in his own apartment. 

“Okay,” Lucifer said, without turning around, “see you later, Asmodeus.” 

The door slammed shut behind Asmodeus a few seconds later. 

The moment Asmodeus was gone, Lucifer breathed a sigh of relief. He lied down on the sofa again, staring down his body at his newest...Problem. That was part two of it. Part one of it lived in his head and it looped Asmo licking the syrup from his fingers on repeat. He’d always thought of himself as being fairly immune to Asomodeus, but he’d never been in such close quarters to Asmodeus’ ‘charm’ like that. Suddenly he could understand all the people that had fallen into Asmodeus’ trap. 

What was he supposed to do about this…?

He looked at the ceiling and then back at his dick, just to see if it’d changed its mind in the five seconds he’d spent eyeballing the ceiling. It was still standing there expectantly, waiting for Lucifer to do something about it. For a second he cleared his mind of any Asmodeus related thoughts, and then he thought _what if_ s about what it would be like to feel Asmodeus’ mouth sucking his dick instead. 

Oh no. 

Everyone in RAD knew that Asmodeus was the best at blowjobs. Lucifer couldn’t say for sure who was speaking from experience and who wasn’t, but he’d heard more than enough about Asmodeus’ talents in that particular field. Even Mammon had told him about it, though Lucifer was highly skeptical that Asmodeus would’ve given _Mammon_ a blowjob. Full offense to Mammon, of course, because not even the Avatar of Lust would want him. 

He thought about Lord Diavolo instead. As if that would help, but there was more structure there. Lord Diavolo controlled where, when, and why Lucifer was cumming, and he had for a while. But Lord Diavolo wasn’t here right now, and Lucifer didn’t know if he would see Lord Diavolo again, at this stage. He didn’t even have his D.D.D. so he couldn’t even ask permission. And then he wondered if he was just making excuses, or if this was the real situation and he was understanding it. 

…

Nobody would know, he decided. 

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned,” Lucifer mumbled to himself, reaching for the second part of his problem. 

★★★

By the middle of the day, Lucifer was bored. It was quite unlike him to get bored so quickly (he wasn’t Mammon) but here in the human world, he had no duties or responsibilities, and definitely no Mammon to annoy him. He didn’t think he would miss the Devildom so soon, but with the absence of anything to do...

He got up and put all the clean dishes away. He took stock of what was in the cupboards and the fridge and the freezer. He investigated the bathroom, and the cleanliness of the bathroom more thoroughly. He wondered why Asmodeus had such an obsession with flower petals and candles in the bathroom. He poked through a stack of books and magazines and didn’t find anything that surprised him. 

Finally the only room left was Asmodeus’ bedroom. The door was half-shut, and Asmodeus hadn’t told him not to go in there. And, of course, as Lucifer was older than Asmodeus, why wouldn’t he go into Asmodeus’ room? 

The bedroom smelt slightly sweeter than the rest of the apartment did, something like a mix of perfumes and other products. Lucifer stepped further inside, trying to remember if this was what Asmo’s bedroom in the House of Lamentation had looked and smelt like. The bed was a four poster with shiny satin sheets, and heart shaped pillows and...that seemed to be the same. There was a desk across the room by the window, stacked high with papers that Lucifer guessed (rightly) was just schoolwork. He rifled through them briefly and found lots of things that he seemed to understand about International Relations, and lots of things about French that he didn’t understand at all. Was French a useful language here? He stashed his information away for conversation topics later on. 

He migrated around the room, towards the dresser next to the bed. There was a jewellery box, of course, sitting there underneath the obnoxiously big mirror. Lucifer recognised the box instantly, because it was the same one from Asmo’s room in Devildom. Make-up was scattered nearby, another non surprise. Lucifer never understood the appeal of that kind of thing. Lord Diavolo had never worn make-up, and Lucifer was not so inclined to feel interested in the things that the other idiots in the House of Lamentation were interested in. He turned his attention to Asmo’s wardrobe, a big wooden thing that housed all the familiar clothes he recognised. Lace, lace, lace. White, white, white. Pink, pink, pink. At least Asmodeus could appreciate the necessity of keeping one’s clothes in colour groups. 

He caught himself wondering...had it really been that long since he last saw Asmodeus? Thinking back, it seemed like a lifetime ago. How could he have not noticed so much time had passed? 

Lucifer closed the door to Asmo’s wardrobe and turned around to survey what else he might have missed. At the end of the bed, there was a big circular light that looked like something Levi had been telling him about once. Lucifer hadn’t listened to much of it, but it was for making videos? That was the gist of it, if he remembered correctly. Maybe Asmo and Levi were interested in the same thing. It seemed plausible. Lucifer certainly didn’t know anything about those kinds of things. 

He wandered over to the unmade bed. The sheets were a soft and shiny white, rumpled from where Asmodeus had been sleeping. Maybe Asmo had forgotten to make his bed that morning. Lucifer perched on the edge of the unmade bed. It was soft and slightly springy, and he felt as though he was going to slip right off the edge of the satin sheeted bed. Peculiar, he decided, and turned his attention to the underside of the bed, to see what secrets Asmodeus had hidden under there. 

Sitting tucked just under the edge of the bed was a red basket. Lucifer pulled it out and the little shiny things in different shapes it was filled with rolled around inside. He picked one up before he realised exactly what it was: a pink glass buttplug. 

_Oh fuck no._

Lucifer dropped it back into the basket instantly as he began to process the other shapes he was looking at. There were interestingly coloured dildos of different lengths and (dare he say it) girths. There were buttplugs with hearts on. There was a tail. There were rose-gold and silver shiny vibrators. There were sparkly anal beads. 

He shoved the basket back under the bed and scrambled upright. His heart was beating so loudly he was certain it was externally audible. This shouldn’t have been a surprise to him, because he _knew_ Asomodeus. But hearing about Asmodeus from other people and coming face to face with Asmodeus’ basket of sex toys were two entirely different experiences. Lucifer looked around the room and made eye contact with the extra large bottle of lube on the nightstand in front of him instead. 

Time to leave the room, he decided, before he discovered something else he wasn’t ready to find out. 

Back in the living room, Lucifer draped himself back across the sofa and thought about all the new things he was learning in the human world. All the things that had probably been going on in the Devildom that he hadn’t come face to face with (literally) until now. What was the adjustment period for finding this kind of thing out? It wasn’t that Lucifer had never seen those kinds of things before...Lord Diavolo had quite the stash of similar things but…

He slid further down against the sofa cushions and closed his eyes. 

...

_“Hey!”_

Lucifer opened his eyes to see Asmodeus standing over him, looking pissed. Was Asomodeus back from class already? It seemed that time had gone quicker than Lucifer had anticipated. 

“Did you go through my stuff while I was out?” Asmodeus demanded, hands on his hips. He sounded furious that Lucifer had been in his room while he was out. How did he know? 

“How did you know?” Lucifer sat up, wondering why he said that. Why would he admit to Asmodeus that he’d been snooping? Why was Asmodeus surprised? 

“Because,” Asmodeus said impatiently, crossing his arms over his chest, “everything’s out of place in my room.”

“What do you mean?” 

Asmodeus grabbed the front of Lucifer’s shirt and yanked him up with a surprising amount of strength for his delicate frame. He dragged Lucifer towards his bedroom, and shoved him viciously inside, slamming the door shut behind him so hard that Lucifer felt the floor shake as he stumbled. He caught himself before he faceplanted onto the floor embarrassingly...the only thing was that everything in the room was scattered all over the floor. All the clothes. All the make up. All the toys. He turned around to see where Asmo was, mouth open. 

“Your behaviour has been poor as of late, Lucifer.” Asmo took a step towards him. It didn’t sound like the way Asmodeus usually spoke. “I suppose you need some _punishment._ ” 

That was Lord Diavolo’s voice. 

...

_“Hey!”_

Lucifer jolted awake, opening his eyes to see Asmodeus standing over him. He blinked. Hadn’t they just been in Asomdeus’ room a second ago? 

"Did you go through my stuff while I was gone?" Asmodeus asked, his hands on his hips. He sounded suspicious. Lucifer didn’t blame him, but he wasn’t about to admit that out loud. 

"No," Lucifer said, pushing himself into an upright position, "why do you ask?" 

Asmo narrowed his eyes at him. "It seems unlike you to sleep all day and I know what you're like."

"I read one of your magazines." Lucifer pointed to the magazine that was on the coffee table. "You know, if you've been reading that sort of magazine all the time you've been here, I'm surprised you were accepted into university." Asmodeus’ taste in magazines and Lucifer’s taste in magazines were further apart than ‘Mammon and Beels’ and ‘having some self-control’. 

"Whatever," Asmodeus said, “you’re just jealous of me.” 

“No, I’m not.” Lucifer wondered what kind of bizarre thought processes the other demons had to cause them to say the things they did. It seemed abnormal, the things that they came out with. He wondered if anyone had ever looked into that before. 

His thought process was rudely interrupted by Asmodeus sitting in his lap and pulling his phone out. As if he was there to be used as a chair. Was Asmodeus intent on annoying him the whole time he was here or was today his lucky day? 

"What…what are you doing?" Lucifer stared at Asmo incredulously. 

"You're taking up the whole sofa with your legs,” Asmodeus pointed out to him. Well he wasn’t wrong. And Lucifer couldn’t move, since Asmodeus had decided to sit _there._

"This is rather unbecoming…" Lucifer muttered, folding his arms away from Asmodeus' body. 

"Yes Lucifer," Asmodeus said, "but Diavolo isn't here to see you get used as a chair by me." He didn't look up from his phone. 

Asmodeus was dressed differently to how Lucifer remembered this morning. He wore a white button down shirt, slightly too big, and with wide and dark vertical stripes slicing it into segments. It hung off his delicate frame a little, and it looked surprisingly soft. Lucifer reached out for the edge of it. He wanted to know what it felt like, and he managed to touch it (as soft as it looked) before Asmo noticed what he was doing. 

"What're you doing?" 

"Nothing," he said, folding his hands back into their original positions. Obviously he wasn’t going to admit to that. "How are you going to spend the rest of your afternoon?" 

Asmodeus put his phone down on the coffee table. "I want to show you something,” he announced. 

Lucifer remembered his dream suddenly. His mouth felt dry. "What is it?" he asked, trying to sound normal, as if he didn't have a dream about Asmodeus turning into Lord Diavolo. He still hadn't decided whether it was a good dream or a bad dream, but did he _really_ wanted to get punished by Asmodeus with Lord Diavolo’s voice and personality? No, he decided right then and there, all at once. That was disturbing. 

Asmodeus turned to face him, pulling one leg (in those skin tight jeans, Lucifer didn't know how) up and over to the other side of Lucifer's body. Before he could even protest _that_ , Asmodeus' mouth was on his. Warm. Kissing him. _Kissing_ him. Lucifer froze. 

Asmodeus pulled back as suddenly as he’d attacked Lucifer, looking at him with a look that Lucifer couldn’t place. "I know I just surprise kissed you out of the blue after you rejected me last night and whatever, but it's like you've never been kissed."

Lucifer ran his fingers through his hair just for something to do. "I…"

Asmodeus stared at him. "You've never been kissed?" 

Lucifer avoided looking at him. It felt wrong to avoid eye contact like that, like in the Devildom he would've just thrown out a handful of threats and let them settle like petals in the wind. But he wasn’t there now. He wasn’t even in his own territory, of any kind. He was in Asmodeus’ apartment, on Asmodeus’ sofa, with Asmodeus straddling him, and Asmodeus forcing him to admit that he’d never kissed anyone before.

"Not even with Diavolo?" Asmodeus asked. He pushed a piece of hair out of his eyes, tucking it behind his ear

Lucifer’s attention snapped back to Asmodeus fully. "How do you know about that?" 

"I'm the Avatar of Lust and you're not subtle when it comes to him." Asmodeus looked...smug...and Lucifer didn’t...how long had he known for? Why was this a surprise to him that Asmodeus knew? Did the other demons know? What was he risking by asking those kinds of questions? 

Lucifer sighed. "...Then no. Lord Diavolo isn't the type for such frivolous activities." It felt strange to admit something that he’d never talked to anyone else about. 

Asmo sighed dramatically and flopped forward onto him, working his arms around him in an unfamiliar embrace. "Let me show you how much better it can be," Asmo whispered in his ear. He leaned his head against Lucifer's shoulder, settling against his body like that was where he belonged. "He doesn't treat you right."

Lucifer opened his mouth to argue. How could Asmodeus say that about Lord Diavolo? Didn’t he understand Lord Diavolo’s position in the Devildom? Didn’t he know how _important_ the things Lucifer did were? Had Asmodeus forgotten all that from his year in the human world. The only problem was that...there were chips in his conviction from the start. From the fact that he was here. That he didn’t know if he could go back. That Asmodeus knew more than Lucifer thought he did. That Asmodeus had given him his first kiss. That Asmodeus was surprised that was his first kiss. That they were here, like this, having this conversation at all. 

And when all of those things pulled together, there were a lot more cracks in his conviction than he’d seen to start with. 

“Let me show you,” Asmodeus whispered again. 

...Did he need to change? 

"Okay," Lucifer agreed, “show me.” 

Asmodeus didn’t move at first, and then he peeled himself away from Lucifer and hopped off him. He held out his hands for Lucifer to take, a wry little self-satisfied smile settling over his face that Lucifer didn’t know if he could trust or not. 

Lucifer looked at Asmodeus’ hands, and wondered what he was getting himself into. But he was trying to change, and he had already agreed. So he let Asmodeus pull him up off the sofa, let Asmodeus lace their fingers together, and he let Asmodeus pull him out of the room. 

And then he let Asmodeus do a lot of other things. 

★★★

The afterwards felt a lot different to the first time Lucifer slept with Lord Diavolo. Asmo cuddled up to him and Lucifer let him, wondering if this was what sex was supposed to be like. Asmodeus was a warm weight plastered to his side, against his shoulder, tucked into his neck. He could smell Asmo's coconut shampoo. His hair brushed against Lucifer’s cheek every time he moves his head. Lucifer was watching Asmo reply to messages on his phone, but he wasn't taking in any of the words. 

When it was Lord Diavolo, he decided everything and told Lucifer what to do. Lucifer was good, and obedient, and let Lord Diavolo do what he wanted. If he did something wrong, he would be punished, which he accepted readily. Lucifer knew that he couldn’t do everything right, so naturally it was important to be able to be punished for his mistakes, even as the Avatar of Pride. But it was different with Asmodeus. It felt...like Asmodeus was interested in what he wanted? Like Asmodeus wanted to know what he liked. It was unsettling, in a way, to be exposed to someone like that. Perhaps that was just something else to get used to. 

His thoughts were interrupted by Asmodeus leaning over him to drop his phone on the nightstand. 

"So Diavolo doesn't do kissing?" Asmodeus asked, settling back into his side. 

“Not really…” Lucifer said. _Or this,_ he wanted to say, but the words got lost somewhere in whatever haze he was suffocating under. He felt like he was grasping at straws just to settle his perception of reality again.

"Good thing I'm here to teach you." Asmodeus wriggled closer to Lucifer’s face to kiss him. Lucifer let him, half-heartedly. “Do you like it?”

“I suppose it’s kind of nice,” Lucifer said absently, running his hand down Asmo’s bare back. Asmodeus had incredibly soft skin...that was nice, he decided. 

Asmodeus squirmed under his touch. “Don’t do that,” he says, “or we’ll have to do all _that_ again.” 

“Oh,” Lucifer said, and settled his hand back at Asmodeus’ waist, which was presumably safe. 

“What’s wrong, Lucifer?” Asmodeus asked, with just a little bit of an annoyed edge to his voice, “‘cause you sound like you’re a thousand miles away.” 

He thought about it. He thought about what he could tell Asmodeus, and whether Asmodeus would say that he knew about that already, as the _Avatar of Lust._ And then he decided that he didn’t really want to say any of what he was thinking about. It wasn’t as though any of it concerned Asmodeus, as much as all of the demons seemed to enjoy trying to pry into his personal life. 

“Nothing,” he said, and left it at that. 

Asmodeus had other ideas. Of course he did. 

“Are you thinking about Diavolo?” he asked, peering up at Lucifer. 

Lucifer looked at Asmo’s face. He wondered if Asmodeus was always this perceptive or if he just somehow knew whenever Lucifer thought about Lord Diavolo. 

“I said he already, he doesn’t treat you right.” Asmodeus half sat up, leaning on his arm so that he could look at Lucifer properly. Seriously. More seriously than Lucifer was interested in. He didn’t need to be lectured by Asmodeus today. 

Lucifer looked away. “Asmodeus...don’t,” Lucifer said softly, “it’s nothing to do with you what Lord Diavolo and I do.” He didn’t want to talk about this with Asmodeus of all people. It might make sense that Asmodeus was the only safe one that Lucifer could talk to since he didn’t live in the Devildom anymore and had no contact with anyone else, but he wouldn’t betray Lord Diavolo like that first of all. 

“Lucifer,” Asmodeus protested, sitting up properly. Lucifer immediately missed the warm weight against his side, but they were past the point of no return already. 

Lucifer closed his eyes. “I said it has nothing to do with you, Asmodeus.” 

“He’s abusive to you, Lucifer! You’re the only one that can’t see it!” 

“Aren’t you happy that you got what you want from me?” Lucifer interrupted, opening his eyes. He didn’t want to hear this. And it was ridiculous anyway. The other demons were just jealous that Lucifer was the one that Lord Diavolo liked the most. That was always their problem. 

Asmodeus was quiet, for just a moment. “Get out of my room then.” 

Fine. 

Lucifer slid out of bed and picked his clothes up silently. Another day, another tantrum from Asmodeus. At least that would never change. “I’ll be back later,” he said, redressing himself and heading for the door before Asmodeus could argue back. 

“Where are you going?”

“Out.” 

The door slammed shut behind him. 


	3. don't make a shadow of yourself

So to recap, Asmo thought bitterly to himself, lying in bed: 

✔ Asmo had kissed Lucifer and he'd liked it

✔ Asmo had successfully seduced Lucifer and he'd liked it

✔ Asmo had pointed out that Diavolo was an asshole and Lucifer hadn't liked it 

So much for his afterschool club. 

He rolled over in an attempt to smother himself with his pillow. Why, of all people, had he chosen to like Lucifer? Why couldn't he have liked Satan and just run away with him and lived happily ever? Though they would’ve spent all their time for the rest of forever doing rock, paper, scissors for who would get to bottom and that wasn’t nearly as exciting as the thrill of knowing he was going to get dominated. 

Why couldn’t Lucifer see what was wrong with Diavolo? That Diavolo (that asshole) was just using him to get to the rest of them? Keeping it to himself in the Devildom was one thing, when Lucifer couldn’t be prised away from Diavolo’s side there. Keeping it to himself in the human realm _after_ putting more shittty little puzzle pieces together and realising that Diavolo really did feel no affection towards Lucifer despite everything they did was something else entirely, and anger wasn’t good for his skin _but._

And the worst part: Lucifer didn’t even realise. 

If he wasn’t so upset about this, he’d have to be upset about Lucifer walking out. He thought about it, briefly, and then settled back on being angry about Lucifer’s inherent state of denial. Really. Was he born to be in denial about everything or did he land on his head when he fell from heaven? Ugh. He couldn’t even just text Lucifer about it. No, he had to either go and hunt Lucifer down or wait until he came back. The worst two options, Asmo thought, because he just wanted to lie here some more and _not_ get up. He’d already been out once today and that was more than enough. Where would Lucifer even go? 

No, he decided, if Lucifer wanted to get mad at him for making perfectly valid points, that was _his_ problem. Asmo would simply wait for him to crawl back (Lucifer had nowhere else to go) and decide what to do with him then. No problems for his skin either. 

Asmo pulled his blankets over himself. Problem solved. Time to nap. 

It didn’t even feel like he’d managed to sleep by the time the front door slammed again. In fact, Asmo was almost certain he’d spent the entire time lying there with his eyes shut. Stupid Lucifer. Stupid Lucifer and his stupid existence. At least Lucifer was back now and Asmo didn’t have to think about that part of his problem anymore. 

“Hey Asmo!!! Where’s your light switch?!” 

No. No, no, _no._ This was **not** happening. Mammon was NOT in his apartment right now. This had to be some awful nightmare.

“Asmoooooo~” Mammon called down the hallway, “where are ya?” 

“Fuck off and die, Mammon.”

“Now that’s not very nice.” Mammon appeared in the doorway. “Found ya!” 

Asmo held in the sigh and the eyeroll, barely. “You just broke into my apartment,” Asmo pointed out, through (perfect) teeth he kept from gritting, “why would I be nice to you?”

“Hey, it’s not breaking in! The door was unlocked! It’s free real estate!” 

“I’m sorry, it’s **what**.” 

Mammon took a step back, hand going to rub at the back of his neck. “I mean uhhh, I knew you wouldn’t get out of bed to answer the door if you knew it was me! That’s all.” 

“You’re damn right I wouldn’t,” Asmo muttered. “How did you get my address?”

“I was just snoopin’ through Satan’s stuff trying to get some dirt on him and I found it written down in one of his books. So obviously I had to come by and check on you.” Mammon smiled, like that was going to help him any. 

“That’s nice, but why are you _really_ here?” 

Mammon’s smile fell and he muttered to himself, obviously forgetting that Asmo had known him for millenia and was immune to his lies. Typical Mammon. Idiot. “Has Lucifer been here?” he asked instead. 

“No.” 

“Really?” Mammon squinted at him, as if trying to discern if Asmo was a liar. 

“I’d tell you if he was,” Asmo said, rearranging his blankets over himself, “do you think I would want him here being boring in my personal space?” 

“I guess not,” Mammon agreed, “who would?”

“Yes...now will you at least get out of my bedroom so I can get dressed?” Asmo asked, as nicely as he could manage at this point in the conversation. 

Mammon yelped, as if he just realised. “You’re always naked, what’s wrong with you!” But he disappeared from the doorway to wreak havoc somewhere else in Asmo’s apartment at least. 

“Stand in the hallway like a good boy,” Asmo called after him, ”I don’t want you messing up my feng shui.”

To his credit, Mammon could at least follow instructions. 

Asmo sighed and dragged himself out of bed before Mammon could get any other stupid ideas, and he picked all his clothes up off the floor to begin the arduous task of putting them back on. This felt like he was being sentenced to his death, but maybe that was just the effect of seeing Mammon again. Especially in his apartment, which was supposed to be a nice, quiet, safe haven away from the Devildom idiots and their… _idiocy._

In the dark of the hallway, Mammon's white hair glowed eerily. But Mammon wasn't touching anything at least. Asmo looked at him at length before he remembered that he needed Mammon out of here before 1) something broke or 2) Lucifer came back. Asmo didn’t know what Mammon wanted with Lucifer, but he knew what _he_ wanted with Lucifer, so Mammon would just have to wait until Asmo was done. Preferably in the far future. 

"Let's go somewhere," Asmo suggested, gently herding Mammon down the hallway towards the door. 

"Huh? What for?" Mammon looked suspicious. 

"I thought you wanted to catch up? I know a nice _ramen place?"_ Ramen…the key to forcing Mammon to do whatever Asmo wanted him to do. 

"I guess I'm gettin' kinda hungry…"

"Then let's go." Asmo herded Mammon out of the apartment, only remembering his keys at the same time he decided that yes, he would lock Lucifer out until he came back from spending time with his least favourite idiot. Lucifer really needed to get himself a phone so that Asmo could warn him about unfortunate incidents like this.

The ramen restaurant was on the next block. Mammon kept talking, like he always did, and Asmo kept a lookout just in case they were about to run into Lucifer. He didn't know why Mammon was looking for Lucifer but it didn't sound like a good thing. Of course they would send the idiot as not to raise suspicion, but even if they didn't…well that was still suspicious. Who would want an idiot like Mammon snooping around in their personal life? Absolutely not Asmo. 

He waited until they were sat down before he even thought about trying to get information out of Mammon. And then he thought about it more and decided to wait a little longer (read: he could hear Mammon whining about wanting to eat his ramen first before he talked about Lucifer) before he started trying to prise anything out of Mammon. Luckily for him, Mammon filled the silence with his inane comments about this, that, and everything else. It was only when their bowl of ramen were set down front of them did Mammon finally shut up, distracted by the steaming bowl of goodness. Asmo felt a little bit cheered up. The ramen here was always good if nothing else. 

“So…” Asmo started, feeling optimistic, “why are you looking for Lucifer? Did he do something? Did he finally snap...again..?” 

“Somethin’ like that,” Mammon said, obnoxiously slurping his ramen with the kind of noise that made Asmo’s blood boil instantly. Asmo reached for a pair of chopsticks with half a mind to jam them into Mammon’s eye instead of his bowl of ramen. 

He closed his eyes as the realisation hit him. It felt something like every square inch of optimism being squashed in a hydraulic press also known as _Mammon’s raging idiocy._ “You don’t actually know, do you?” 

“Hey! You know what it’s like down there, nobody ever tells me anythin’! They think they can’t trust me but they pick _me_ to go up and find Lucifer. You know what they say: you can leave it up to THE Mammon!” Mammon waved his hand around stupidly, as if that would help him to be more convincing. 

Asmo closed his eyes again, breathing in slowly. Mammon didn’t notice, of course. “So you’re here to do what, exactly?” he asked through semi-gritted teeth.

“Find Lucifer, of course!” 

“Says who?” 

“Ehhh....Lord Diavolo might’ve suggested somethin’.”

“And what was that?” This was like trying to get blood out of a stone. 

Mammon paused his eating to pull out his D.D.D, sliding it over to show Asmo the group chat. 

**LORD DIAVOLO**

Does anyone know where Lucifer may have gone?

**MAMMON**

I bet he’s up in the human world! 

**LORD DIAVOLO**

What makes you think that?

**LEVIATHAN**

Why would you think that? Lucifer doesn’t even like humans.

**MAMMON**

Oh, just a hunch.

**LORD DIAVOLO**

I asked all of you to keep me updated on Lucifer’s whereabouts. 

**SATAN**

You haven’t even told us what happened yet…

**LORD DIAVOLO**

This is a very sensitive issue. If you find Lucifer, tell me _immediately._

**MAMMON**

Sure thing boss!

“Is that it?” Asmo asked, pushing the D.D.D back towards Mammon and wiping his hands on his jeans just in case he caught anything from Mammon.

“Yeah, guess so.”

“Great,” Amo said, staring into his bowl of ramen. His appetite didn’t feel all there anymore, and he sighed at the bowl. This seemed like a bigger mess than he’d originally anticipated. And he’d gotten involved just to get Lucifer to go on a date with him. He supposed this just exemplified the reason he was a demon.

“But you’ll tell me if Lucifer comes here, right?” Mammon asked. 

“Sure,” Asmo sighed, “you’ll be the first to know. Do you want my ramen?”

★★★

Lucifer leaned against the side of the building behind him. He'd been walking and spotted Mammon and Asmo coming around the corner, and immediately bolted back where they couldn't see him. He knew already that Mammon had been sent to check on Asmo, to see if Lucifer had gone there. How they had found out where Asmo was living these days was...harder to figure out. Mammon wasn’t that smart, and Asmo had left no traces. It had taken Lucifer long enough to track down Asmo, but he would say that was because he had an advantage...he’d been with Asmo in the Celestial Realm, and he was the oldest too. He generally knew more than the others did. 

It was strange to run into Mammon in the human realm, as if they were meant to just be passersby on a street they shouldn't be frequenting. Mammon stood out amongst the humans. Of course he did. And three demons in one place was suspicious. It wasn’t that the humans knew that they were all demons from first glance; from what Lucifer knew, the humans at first glance though they were weird or ‘otherworldly’. Once they looked closer, however, they would start to realise that none of them were human, which was a faster process when there were several demons in the same place. With Lucifer’s eye colour, it was fairly quick for humans to notice something was wrong. Asmo, he supposed, could get away with it easier and for longer. But then again, Asmo could make excuses for anything about himself and someone would have to believe it. 

For now, that wasn’t his problem. For now his problem was who sent Mammon here to look for him. He tipped his head back against the wall behind him, wondering who was behind this. Mammon was stupid enough to take orders from anyone. And Lucifer really didn't know what was happening in the Devildom right now, and it felt wrong to not know anything. Not that it would be hard to outsmart Mammon, of course...

Reluctantly, he peeled himself off the wall and considered how his week was getting exponentially worse with every day that passed. He supposed it was time to head back to Asmo’s apartment and wait for him to get back. Unless Asmo no longer wanted him there. And then, Lucifer supposed, he would have no one else to turn to. Perhaps he would just have to be good for Asmo. 

He couldn’t help looking over his shoulder as he headed back the way he’d come, through the rapidly darkening streets. Just in case the other demons had shown up too, disbelieving that Mammon could do anything right. Or maybe they all just wanted to know where to find Asmo again. It made him feel unnaturally uneasy, and it sat wrong with the lustre of the sunset and the way the building lights were beginning to gleam in the dim light of the evening. At least the dark meant that Lucifer could blend in perfectly with the shadows outside Asmo’s apartment building. With his back against another wall, he felt safer. He eyed everyone walking by though, just in case they happened to be one of the idiots from the Devildom, that he couldn’t escape. But there was no sign of Mammon. No sign of Levi, Satan, Beels, or Belphie. And no sign of Lord Diavolo, though Lucifer highly doubted Lord Diavolo would come to the human realm. It was far more likely that he would send Barbatos else on his behalf. 

Perhaps he was safe for now. 

He watched as Asmo finally came around the corner, walking up to the building without noticing Lucifer standing there. Finally...

“Asmodeus,” Lucifer said, stepping out of the shadows. 

Asmo whipped around faster than Lucifer had seen him move for a long time. “Why are you lurking in the shadows outside my apartment!” 

“What did Mammon want?” 

Asmo sighed. “He broke into my apartment because he got my address by snooping through Satan’s stuff, said a bunch of stupid stuff, Lord Diavolo sent a bunch of messages, and I didn’t tell him you were here because nobody even asked him to look for you. He just got carried away by the weight of his own head.” 

That sounded about right for Mammon, Lucifer thought. “Is that all?” he asked. 

Asmo looked at him with dead eyes and unlocked the door. “Please let’s go inside before he comes back again for some reason.” 

“Okay,” Lucifer agreed, and followed Asmo through, up to the fourth floor apartment. Neither of them said anything until they were inside and Asmo had closed the door and locked it with an intimidating sounding _clunk._

“So,” Asmo started, dropping his keys into his key bowl. He kicked his shoes off and walked down the hallway towards Lucifer. “Are you going to tell me what _actually_ happened? Or do I have to hear it from Mammon when he figures it out and comes running back into my apartment?” 

Lucifer blinked. He didn’t think Asmo would feel this way… “I didn’t know he would come here.”

“Yeah, neither did I! But nothing’s safe from THE Mammon,” Asmo said mockingly, looking at Lucifer like he had something to answer for. 

“I’m...sorry…?” Lucifer tried, hoping that would be the right thing to say. 

Asmo frowned at him. Lucifer didn’t know what to do next, besides stand there and wait for some kind of punishment, perhaps? 

Asmo sighed. “I’m going to bed. Do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t involve Mammon.” Asmo spun on his heel and left the room, closing his bedroom behind him with an accusatory sounding slam. Or maybe Lucifer was just reading too far into that...at this point, he wasn’t sure what was right and what was wrong anymore. It seemed so much more convoluted than it ever had before. 

He stood there for another second. And then he put himself to bed, because that seemed like what he was supposed to do, and he couldn’t think of what would be worth staying awake for. By the time he’d lied down, the blinds were drawn and the room was pitch black and silent, besides the occasional blink of light and hum of the fridge. Lucifer was holding a disturbingly fluffy pillow, watching a light across the room blink on and off, and thinking about how he didn’t know if he could sleep here again. 

It wasn’t Asmo’s apartment that was the problem...It was the threat of Mammon that he didn’t like. Mammon had a tendency to ruin everything. All he wanted was the signal from Lord Diavolo that he could return to the Devildom and resume his life as it was supposed to be. But that wasn’t today. 

Eventually, he got up from the sofa and started towards the living room door. He stopped in the doorway, barely over the threshold, wondering if this was a good decision to make or not. Asmo’s door was partially open, but his room was just as dark as the rest of the apartment. Maybe Lucifer should just go back...

"Lucifer?" Asmo called suddenly, as if he knew Lucifer was standing there.

"Yes?" Lucifer said back, noting the rate his heart was beating at all of a sudden. 

"Come here.”

Lucifer sidled through the door, into the room, and made his way towards Asmo’s bed without encountering anything (yes, he was thinking about the buttplug and he didn’t want to be) on the way there. He found Asmo’s bed easily, following the dim little glow of Asmo’s phone until he was stood by the side of the bed.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at the way Asmo so carelessly dropped his phone above his head onto his mountain of soft, squishy pillows. 

Asmo flipped his blankets over on one side, inviting him in. Lucifer ignored his new heart rate to slide inside. Asmo curled into his side, settling like that was where he was meant to be, and it was all Lucifer could do to wrap his arm around Asmo's delicate body and rest his head against the top of Asmo's. And his heart was still beating so hard and fast that he was almost certain Asmo was going to call him out on it. 

"This is better," Asmo said, closing his eyes. 

Everything was still for two seconds, and then Asmo shifted again, leaning up to kiss Lucifer before he settled back where he was. 

“Goodnight Lucifer,” Asmo said, “don’t wake me up early, I need my beauty sleep.” 

That was all he said. Lucifer fell asleep to the sound of Asmo’s soft breathing and nothing else at all. 

★★★

Morning in Asmo’s obnoxious bedroom came in the form of the sun prising itself through the cracks in the curtains, spilling over the room until it made its way onto Asmo's bed. Lucifer didn't really want to wake up. He didn't want to get up either. Though he still had time - he could tell Asmo was still asleep because he hadn’t started whining yet. Lucifer just took this time to enjoy the peace and quiet, staring up at the canopy of Asmo’s bed and wondering if Asmo had always been this specific kind of obnoxious or if the human realm had honed his obnoxious decor in new and unprecedented ways. Perhaps the latter.

And then he made the mistake of thinking about the previous night again: _if you’re good, Asmo won’t get rid of you._ Lucifer was used to doing what someone else wanted him to do. That was all. That just meant he had to be better, and do what was asked of him instead of acting as though he could do whatever he wanted. That hadn't ended well for him in the Celestial Realm, after all. And that was the whole basis of his relationship with Lord Diavolo, it seemed. 

Was that wrong? 

...Was Asmo right?

No, Lucifer decided, Asmo couldn’t be right. Asmo didn’t know anything about that kind of thing. When Lucifer said it like that to himself, it was convincing. And then he went back to the beginning, and thought about what Asmo had said the day before. That Lord Diavolo was using him. And he was abusive. And that everyone could see it but him. Lucifer still couldn’t believe that - how could he? - but he wanted to know what made Asmo think that kind of ridiculous thing. Perhaps the human world was rubbing off on him. 

He thought about that until Asmo woke up, looking pleased that Lucifer hadn’t escaped in the middle of the night. He thought about it when he showered, and when he was sitting there eating breakfast with Asmo, and when he did the dishes, and when he sat back down with Asmo. The same thoughts circled round and round in his head, like Mammon stuck on repeat. How was he supposed to make it stop? 

At that moment, Asmo snuggled into his side, settling his head against Lucifer's shoulder where it seemed to belong. "You always used to keep me around in the Celestial Realm," he said, as if he wanted something specific from Lucifer, "not so much after we Fell." 

The Celestial Realm. Lucifer hadn't thought much about their time there for a while. But it was a welcome distraction from his merry go round of the same thoughts on repeat. "Lucifer, the pride of the Celestial Realm, loved by all of creation..." he said softly. “There was one angel he thought especially beautiful, one whom he praised and kept at his side. ‘Twas Asmodeus, jewel of the heavens.” 

“You were nicer to me back then.” Asmo paused. “Also, if that’s your way of saying you like me now…”

“Don’t ruin it by talking, Asmodeus.” Lucifer leaned his head against the top of Asmo’s, surreptitiously breathing in the faint scent of Asmo’s conditioner. He closed his eyes, trying to enjoy this before Asmodeus started talking again or before he started thinking too hard about it again. Was Asmo about to…take over the role of Lord Diavolo in his life…?

Of course not. That sounded even more ridiculous when he put it into words. 

“Hey!” Asmo protested, “you can’t stop me from talking. We’re in _my_ apartment.”

Lucifer almost smiled. The corner of his mouth twitched. “Yes, I can. Be a good boy.” How delightful it was for Asmo to try and assert himself like that. 

“I’ll be quiet if you tell me how beautiful I am again.” Asmo looked up at him hopefully. 

“Hmm.” 

“Tell me more about how beautiful I was in the Celestial Realm then...you _do_ remember, don’t you?”

“Of course I remember.” Lucifer wouldn’t admit it out loud, but the more he thought back to the Celestial Realm, the more he remembered why they had called Asmo _the jewel of the heavens._ It was certainly a fitting title for him, though he could never tell Asmo that. His ego would overtake Mammon’s, and then they would all be in trouble. 

“So tell me,” Asmo demanded. 

“When did you get so aggressive, Asmodeus?” How cute. But it wouldn’t work on Lucifer, who knew exactly what Asmo wanted and also exactly what Asmo wasn’t going to get out of him. 

"When you stopped paying attention to me so much!" Asmo pouted prettily.

"Let me show you…" Lucifer said, not entirely thinking through his next decision. 

"...?"

Lucifer shifted them to kiss Asmo, pushing him down until Asmo was underneath him. Asmo (of course) kissed back _enthusiastically_ , reaching to work his hands inside Lucifer's clothes as if he was allowed to just do that. Lucifer pulled Asmo's hands away from him, holding them easily in just one of his hands and pinned them over Asmo's head. "What if I'd done this in the Celestial Realm?" he asked, pulling far enough away from Asmo’s mouth that Asmo let out a faint whine. 

"You should've." Asmo frowned suddenly. "How did you resist me all this time? Wait, don't answer that right now, we're busy." 

Lucifer pulled back further, sitting back. 

"Wrong way Lucifer! I'm down here!"

"Be a good boy," Lucifer told him again, brushing a piece of Asmo's hair out of his eyes. Asmo pouted again and Lucifer almost relented. It would be sad if he’d resisted Asmo all this time and finally cracked just because Asmo pouted at him a few times...

"Fine…" Asmo pouted again. It was very convincing, actually. 

Lucifer leaned down again, nipping at Asmo's neck before he sat back up, detaching himself all the way from Asmo and sitting a respectable distance away. Just the way things were supposed to be. 

“You can’t-!” Asmo protested harder, swinging himself upright at an unprecedented speed. 

“Can’t what?” Lucifer asked, curling up into the corner of the sofa, picking a piece of lint from his sleeve nonchalantly. 

“You can’t _act all seductive and then not actually sleep with me!”_ Asmo said, his voice getting increasingly high pitched with every word. “First of all, that’s my job! _I’m_ the Avatar of Lust, and second of all-” he searched for the words, which Lucifer enjoyed watching immensely. He hadn’t seen this kind of shock since Satan left an intimidatingly large spider on Mammon’s pillow. “ _Second of all,”_ Asmo tried again, “you can’t! do that!”

“Oh?” Lucifer said, “and why’s that?” 

Asmo’s mouth twitched in outrage. “Because I’ve _wanted you to fuck me for millenia and you know very well this!”_

Lucifer smirked at him. He couldn’t help it. Making Asmo screech was perhaps the only highlight of his day, as sad as that sounded. Asmo crossed his arms, looking for all the world like a five year old who wasn’t getting what he wanted. “I see you feel more like yourself now,” he sulked. 

“Of course. Seeing Mammon is enough to do that to anyone.” 

"You're right," Asmo muttered, "I forgot how mad he makes me." He sighed and looked at Lucifer. “I liked you better when you were...less…”

“Oh?” Lucifer said, “that’s a shame.” He reached towards Asmo again, hooking his fingers into the waistband of Asmo’s pants. Asmo didn't stop him so much as watch Lucifer a little suspiciously, as if he expected Lucifer to back out again. Lucifer didn't; he had Asmo's dick in his hand, stroking down it before Asmo cracked and lied back down on the sofa, wriggling further out of his clothes. 

Lucifer took the hint. He settled between Asmo's legs and leaned down to see what kind of reactions he could get out of Asmo by licking the length of Asmo's dick in one fell swoop. And then he decided he might as well keep going, slipping inch by inch further into his mouth. He had to admit, he liked the little noises Asmo made, the way his breathing hitched every so often, and the way he grabbed at Lucifer when he was about to cum, as if he thought Lucifer was about to betray him again. 

Not this time. 

This time, Asmo came in Lucifer’s mouth, just like he’d always dreamed of most likely. Lucifer swallowed and sat back, wiping his mouth with his hand, looking at the puddle of demon he’d created with just one act. Asmo’s face was flushed and he looked as though he was about to just slide onto the floor from the sofa with the way his limbs were haphazardly arranged. “Good boy.” 

“I really hate you right now,” Asmo told him. 

Lucifer smirked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i would like to credit the game for giving me a slice of dialogue to include in here. you probably spotted it.
> 
> edit: i was wrong, there were two dialogues from the game whoops


End file.
